If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
