I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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