its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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