so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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