'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
