Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
