Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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