sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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