U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
