Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
