dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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