Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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