just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
