he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
