I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
