i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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