whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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