I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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