do herpes really smell.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
