That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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