Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize