i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
