I'm laying in your front yard are you home
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
