You work out of a Hotel?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
