erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Randomize