I'm so fucking centered right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
