I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
accomplished twins. life is a go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
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