Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
