brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
