So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
