hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
