Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
