Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
