It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
