ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize