How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
NoShamevember. You game?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
