i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
