I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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