How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
