Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
