yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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