no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize