I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
