So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
