Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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