whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The air was thick with penises
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
