We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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