I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
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Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
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I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy