Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...