you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
