We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it because I queefed?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize