I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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