puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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