put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Drake has all the answers
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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