can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
