also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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