I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
